Vegan Apocalypse

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Last Saturday, I caught up with a couple of my closest friends at the Cornish Arms Hotel. One of us has severe dietary intolerances and we opted for the Cornish Arms because the vegan menu most closely resembles a cuisine his gut can manage.

Anyhow, two of us are carnivores and we both threw our hands up, celebrating the opportunity to take the piss out of that most maligned social species, the vegan. Even political correctness has failed to provide them with shelter from the social shit-storm.

I’ve got no problem with eating vegetarian and recently overhauled my meat eating. It’s not a subject which I can discuss without feeling an ethical twinge. Fortunately, in Australia, it’s a far less disturbing issue than in a country like the U.S.

Personally, I don’t think cage eggs should be legal. No animal should be made to suffer, and no one should accept – and financially justify through their consumption – the suffering of a sentient creature.

Jan Fran, SBS journo and lefty opinion maker who presents her own skit called ‘The Frant’, has a skit bouncing around online called, ‘Vegans: Do We Hate Them Because They’re Right?’ Her skit is funny, and it’s a fair question to ask.

Vegans are a sad assembly of self-righteous, emaciated, grubby human beings, but their moral logic is sound. And you can’t deny their aversion to the suffering of animals, which is a noble concern.

I wandered into the Cornish Arms Saturday night with all this on my mind and when I sat down, I was gratified to see that the pub catered to both carnivores and herbivores alike. I ordered a Southern Fried Chicken Burger and promptly pounded it into my face.

I entered into robust discourse with my two fellows on the subject of politics, the environment and poetry (I know fuck-all about any of those topics in comparison with my compatriots, other than the last) and as we chatted, I watched plates upon plates being returned to the kitchen with partially eaten quantities of meat.

Prepare yourself, gentle reader: I was offended by what I saw.

And it’s times like that you find yourself pondering environmental degradation generally speaking, whether it’s fossil fuels or recycling: as a species, what hope have we got?

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