Lisa Ann Has Hips Like a Cello

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Lisa Ann has hips like a cello. She’s the same colour, too. She was big in porn in the nineties, then disappeared for ten years or so and made a comeback in recent times. She’s the most-watched porn star in the world after her star-turn as congresswoman Sarah Palin in the film, Who’s Nailin Palin?

This is information after the fact, as far as I’m concerned. There is something about Lisa Ann that does it for me. I think it’s because she reminds me of a teacher I had funny, awkward feelings about in primary school.

Something particularly exciting about seeing Ms. Tompkins thick, long black hair falling over naked shoulders, curvaceous wide hips and big round ass. Lisa’s Frankenstein-fake tits are a bit much, but I can overlook them.

Possibly the one detail I like the best is what appears to be an old caesarean scar travelling down from her navel to her pubis. The fact she has subjected herself to that much plastic surgery and still hasn’t been able to obliterate that scar makes her all the more real.

You can download all kinds of wild stuff from the internet involving Lisa Ann, including her taking on three black guys at once. That’s not my speed. When I watch Lisa Ann I know it’s probably a performance, but I can believe her.

I want to love her with my body. I want to love her with my body until she comes so hard she cries. And when there’s a close-up of her face, I imagine that’s exactly what I’m doing. The only problem is that more often than not, the close-up is ruined by the money shot.

When I come, it’s hard and glorious. My semen courses across my hand and down my wrist; testament to the power of Lisa Ann. And there’s no feelings of guilt or shame. It’s a sunspot of pure joy. I need that.

Now that I’m alone, I need that more than ever.

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